George Carlin. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. Your email address will not be published. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. "Laugh often, long and loud. //]]> I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. So, we must be clear about our expectations for government and its role in our lives.
14 George Carlin Quotes on Education, Kids & Parents - Fatherly To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. In America, anyone can become president. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. if (isRetina) { You have owners. George Carlin, 84. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. window.csa("Config", { Just daydreaming. George Carlin 13. George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. 3140. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); Nobody seems to care. (function() { And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. Yeah, I know, youre thinking. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. George Carlin. Really? Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); George Carlin. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Enjoy! You know what they ought to do with churches? fetchBids: function() { Laugh often, long and loud. "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. George Carlin If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. ' George Carlin, 56. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. You have owners. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. _Q: [] Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? It's a big club and you ain't in it. It takes up a lot of your time. Its interested in its own power. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight LaughPlanet 900K subscribers Subscribe 42K 1.3M views 2 years ago #GeorgeCarlin #Comedy #America George Carlin Shitting on Government. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); I think that speaks for itself. In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. A Death! function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { Source; . And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance.
George Carlin Quote On Critical Thinking | by Ruth | Medium }()); Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. It will not be with jack-boots. Ever. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. People are wonderful one at a time. George Carlin > Quotes (?) The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. That's the problem. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { (function () { Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Period. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. It will not be with jack-boots. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. . } All rights reserved. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. googletag.enableServices(); "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Your dog thinks you're a god. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. American We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts.
Top George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. Others see it half empty.I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be.George Carlin, Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. You dont. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20.