Marwood: What's in your hump? This suit was cut by Hawkes of Savile Row. You got a rush. Danny: I dont advise a haircut, man. [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. I must have some booze. I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. - Monty: Youre going to finish the vegetables. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street. Nor women neither. The school in fiction Poetry. Marwood: Withnail: Withnail: Where is he? Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness! If you don't leave, we'll call the police. Street: The Embalmer! Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! tags: humour, withnail-i. Marwood: It'll happen. But now he's stopped he's much better in our sex life and in our general life." Marwood: I didn't call you inhumane. Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this f***ing mountainside! The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news. He winces as he stretches his leg]. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. The fucking kettle's on fire! Irishman: [approaching the pub] I'll swallow it and run a mile! You lose, you gain Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! Withnail: Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? Marwood: Withnail: you little traitors. Tell him if you must, I no longer care. Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! This huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. It sent chills up and down my spine when Keith quotes Prabhupada when he said . It's all your fault. Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. Monty: We've got to get some booze. Politics, man. The only thing you're in that I've been in is this fucking bath! It's the only solution to this intense cold. [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Well, don't. Tactical necessity. Voila! If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Marwood: "Boy lands plum role for top Italian director" Course he does! Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot? Well, it's not my fault if the system doesn't work! Withnail: Withnail: . Isaac Parkin: Imagine getting into a fight with the f***er! It can utilise up to 12 skins. Don't vent spleen on me, I'm in the same boat! I think we'd better release you from the lgumes and transfer your talents to the meat. Monty: Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: Let's be 'Withnail and I' (1987) - datalounge.com The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. I was gonna cook onions. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] How infinite in faculties! Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. [reading graffiti] You will make it low. And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. These pheasants are for my pot. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum! grant . Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. A coward you are, Withnail, an expert on bulls you are not! [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] Withnail: All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Withnail: Look at my tongue. Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one. Here hare here!" Bruce Robinson, Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay. Making enemies of our own futures. Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? Monty: 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! Especially that little pimp! The thermostats. I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! Danny: Relax, man, find your neutral space. There's the supper. Danny: Withnail: Balls! And now I'm calling you one. Danny: Danny: The entire sink's gone rotten. Something's got to be done. Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? No, I'd better go. Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. Give in to it, boy. [narrating over scene] You lose, you gain. "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". Withnail: Rejuvenate! Withnail: [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] Withnail: Well neither have I. For reasons I can't really discuss with you, he had to go to Jamaica. This is a court, man. Withnail: (Wry smile) Sorry about that. How like a god! These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Marwood: I don't want to hear it. Withnail:I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! I don't care where you come from! Ponce! These are the best withnail and I quotes. Marwood: Look at this - accident blackspot? I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Reflecting these times. [points a fencing sword at Marwood face] Richard E. Grant Is Making Self-Isolation Fun With Classic 'Withnail www.bbcamerica.com. And you'd be marvellous. Amazon.com: Customer reviews: Gold, Guns and God: Swami Bhaktipada and Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. What the fuck do you mean? Best kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us. Danny: Withnail: Gi' me one in t' knee. No, that is a dog. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! 1 comment. Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? Withnail: Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Web. Eat some cake. Marwood: A little before your time. These aren't accidents! You wouldn't spike me, you're too mean. How dare you. Monty: Here hare here. Prostitutes for the bees. I know you're not asleep, boy. Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. We're working on a film up here. DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE", shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement, Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". Marwood: I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. There's a man over there that doesn't like the perfume, the big one. Withnail: Scrubbers! Why have you drugged their onions?! The carrot has mystery. Why have you drugged their onions?! There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! That's politics, innit? Get into countryside, rejuvenate. Sod your pheasants! And all at once those frozen hours, melt through the nervous system, and seep out the pores. Why don't I get any soup? [reading a newspaper] Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! [pointing at a table] No it doesn't. Danny's a genius. [staggering out] I wondered if you could sell us some food. Monty: Policeman 2: We've got to get some booze. Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. Monty: Dont be ridiculous. Ah, he knows. There must and shall be aspirin! Get into the countryside. Afrika Korps. And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. Marwood: You know what we should do? Marwood: Uncle Monty: Sherry? I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. Oh, Christ almighty. Withnail: Withnail: That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Monty: This is me naked in a corner! What fucker said that? Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now! I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. Withnail: Shut that gate and keep it shut! For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author's best ideas. Monty: Quote by Bruce Robinson: "Here. Hare. Here. Here hare here!" [voiceover] They don't like me being on stage. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. "I'm going to pull your head off." Have you been away? We've gone on holiday by mistake. It will pass. You got a rush. If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. Withnail: This was more like a long white hat. His name's Presuming Ed. I think you've been punished enough. Offer him yourself. Irishman: Then you gotta change its drawers for it. Marwood: (Takes the shotgun) Well let me tell you something, Withnail. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Old suit? Oh, Oxford Marwood: Withnail: Weve gone on holiday by mistake. https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. Required fields are marked *. We'll be found dead in here next spring. All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. Burnt! These eels are for my pot. Marwood: Jesus Christ! There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! withnail and i quotes Marwood stands there, petrified]. We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! Marwood: Monty: Find *anything*. Monty, Monty! One of my favourite movies. Uncle Monty: Oh! My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. What good's the side? [sticking out his yellowy tongue] Withnail: Sulking up the hill. [looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes] We've just run out of wine. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder]. The purveyor of rare herbs and proscribed chemicals is back. How right you are, how right you are. My wife is having a baby. I'm not having this shag sack insulting me! Listen, Monty, there's something I have to explain to you. We can't go on like this. Nor women neither. Marwood: General: [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Withnail: Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! Thanks! What the f*** are you talking about? Marwood: Danny: Withnail & I Quotes STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Withnail: *Bastards*! Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." This page was last edited on 1 November 2022, at 17:35. Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. This is a far superior drink to meths. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! Go with it. Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! We're coming back in here. Withnail: What are we going to do about it? Tea Shop Proprietor: Marwood: Uncle Monty: Oh, my boys, my boys, forgive me. He told me about your arrest in the Tottenham Court Road. I think there may be something living in there, I think there may be something alive. Be seated. I never thought he'd come all this way. [after a phone call with his agent] Have another look in that shed. Were incompatible. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. You beastly little parasite, how dare you! I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Talk:Withnail and I - Wikiquote All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Marwood: There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. Marwood: Please don't. Marwood: Withnail and I Quotes Jesus Christ. This doll is extremely dangerous. Danny's here. Withnail: [pointing an eel at him] My brain's capsizing. hide. Scrubbers! It's obsessed with its gut. You haven't got a chance! This ain't fancy dress." Here."" (Richard Griffiths) "Laisse-moi, respirer . "I'm gonna pull you head off." He can eat his ****ing radish. Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! You love him. Withnail: Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. *I'll show the lot of you*! Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. [he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic]. [they stop and look at each other. Your email address will not be published. This thread is archived. Withnail: Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. Why can't I get on television? It's ridiculous. Withnail: Is Marwood in love with Withnail? What happened to your cigar commercial? Add spice to it. It will pass. I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's. All right, this is the plan. We may as well sit round this cigarette. [high-pitched voice] Quotes.net. Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. Withnail & I - The Script - Tripod Got busted coming back through Heathrow. No, man, this was more like a long white hat. [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] I must be ill. Monty: Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. quotes military heroes famous quotesgram. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. They dont like me being on stage. We want the finest wines available to humanity. General: Give me a downer, Danny. All right, this is the plan. Jake: Danny: I'm not going to understudy anybody. [shouting at his cat] Marwood: No you can't, listen to me, listen to me! Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. It has voodoo qualities. Clearly a myth. [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. We don't want a rabbit, we want a pheasant. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. What happened to my agent? I need at least an hour for lunch., Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day. They are flat broke, so they move to the house of Withnail's uncle in the countryside. Danny: You're looking very beautiful, man. You can use the left-hand menu to view some of the most popular quotes from the main Withnail and I characters . Director: Bruce Robinson Stars: Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths Rating: Unrated Runtime: 107 minutes Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato. Pin By Lucy MckFunkdrick On Sunny Side | Withnail And I, Mens www.pinterest.com. Listen, I think you should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! He's lent us his cottage. moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. I don't want to hear anything. I've told you why. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. We are multimillionaires. We'll have another pair of large scotches. How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! Withnail: (Stirring) I deny all accusations. Something's got to be done. There is, youll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.. Raymond Duck. If your father was my father you wouldn't get it. Have you met Jake? Hare. What do you want in here? Danny: All right here? Change down, man. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe . Will we never be set free? You want working on, boy. I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Marwood: I feel unusual. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. let him get his drugs out! His sister give him the idea. Well, of course you don't, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? Haven't seen Gielgud down the labour exchange! Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! [Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Oh, but how dreadful. Now, would you leave? The police, Miss Blennerhassett. We want the finest wines available to humanity. The Withnail and I film script contains a virtually non-stop array of one-liners from all the main characters - and for this reason the film is often touted as being one of the most quotable films ever made. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness. Marwood: He's been fed from arsehole to beak. Offer him yourself. Danny: Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Withnail_and_I&oldid=3185462. You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house? Danny: He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid]. Look at him. Withnail: I happened to be looking for a suit for the Coalman two weeks ago. Quite freaked me at the time. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Making an enemy of our own future. Marwood: [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. Sulking up the hill. Marwood: You don't understand. That's what you say. [he picks up the kettle on the stove. Stand aside! Me? Quotes from Withnail and I: The Screenplay - BookQuoters In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Monty: Change down, man, find your neutral space. I hope you guys like our collection. Withnail: There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! Withnail I Quotes (2 quotes) - Goodreads So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. [holding up a pill] Withnail: How can I possibly know what we should do? Got a randy bull up there. Marwood: I've no idea, I've never met him. You got to throttle him. Now, come along, he's going to revitalise himself and you're going to finish the vegetables. Withnail: Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. Saint Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. I think an evening at The Crow. Monty: Cooking's one of the natural instincts. I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you.
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